daniela

sea change

i'm thinking about that saying......change being the only thing you can count on not changing. i have certainly learned over the last many years that no matter how much we think we are in control, we never really are. 

it's an illusion. 

but what i can control is how much i love, how much i give, and the intentions by which  i do those things. that can't be taken away from me.

so this is me. trying to be fluid. still struggling for words. but adapting to big change, not fighting it. yielding. healing. connecting to source. and being open to what awaits me, trusting that it will be exactly what is needed for the evolution of my soul. 

and i'm finding peace in that.

vw pickin'

 

this lovely was parked right next to us at the farm we were picking berries at a couple of weeks ago. the door was open, dog hanging out inside, two baby car seats in the back, surfboards on top. just as i was leaving a polaroid i took of this beauty on the windshield for whoever these fine people might be, they appeared - an awesome couple and their two little girls, returning from their own picking in the berry fields. turns out this is just one of seven buses they have. i made sure they had my email, you know, in case they ever wanted to scale back to six. it's a funny thing, intuition. i can't help but feel this strong sense that somehow our paths will cross again. 

the wish tree: part two

i really didn't know what to expect after we left the wish tree that first day. would someone take down the sign and bag of tags for wishing?  would anyone even find it? would people really do some wishing? i just couldn't predict or imagine, but knew that whatever took place next, it would be a journey of sorts. the first night i went back to the tree, there had been no wishes yet added to the ones faith and i had placed that monday. the tree is not directly off of any path, so it's not an obvious find. but the second time i returned, i was totally and wholly overcome by emotion, and felt a kind of magic unfolding:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

healing waters

 

i've had many people tell me as of late that they are filled with anxiety, are having trouble sleeping, are oddly tired, and can't explain why they are feeling like this. usually my own human ego will immediately try to list all the things i must be doing wrong when i myself feel like this, as if it were all in my control. but my soul instinct is saying otherwise, and i'm more inclined to believe what it's telling me these days. how can we as energy beings, possibly not feel all the worry, grief and uncertainty that we are vibrating into the universe as of late, especially most recently as a result of the toxic oil spill? we can't conceivably yet fully grasp the consequences of this event, and all of the people and animals that stand to suffer personal and circumstantial harm. how can this individual and collective world energy of worry not fatigue us, deplete our spirits, make us dizzy, throw us off balance, on a totally sub-conscious level alone? 

i'm feeling completely helpless with the oil pouring into the earth's beautiful waters, and i find i'm looking in every direction with big eyes, and a saddened spirit for answers as to how to assimilate this in my heart. not just the answers as how to fix the big picture - i am well aware of how i too am a contributing piece to our reliance on oil and how it powers most aspects of the way i live, and i live with the magnified awareness of this each and every day - but how to also feel like i can do something to help heal the nurturing waters and the life that exists within them. in every place that i am seeking answers, prayer and compassion show up as a way we can respond from our hearts. 

i came across this today and wanted to share it for anyone else that, like me, is yearning for a way to be a part of the healing:

it is a time to bring all our gifts to the world in a way that is responsible and with integrity. every gift of prayer you can make to water at this time is needed, it is taking a sacred action. so if you are feeling helpless or powerless about what is happening in the gulf, go to any water near you and make an offering of herbs (sage) medicine. organize an event near a water hole and create a prayer gathering. and if you are in a dry land, fill a bowl of water, make a prayer for the ocean and yourself and pour it every day onto the soil or in a plant pot. these are all gifts for healing the waters. ~ mbali for ubuntu humanity

intention, compassion, prayer, love, healing, hope. pass it on. xo

*     *     *

for you

   

pssssst.  yes, you.

i made a little something for you.  you can listen to it here. 

enjoy :)

*     *     *

for reference:

the littlest birds the be good tanyas

two different things caitlin cary + thad cockrell

swept away the avett brothers

the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind griffin house

don't think twice, it's all right bob dylan

time stood still chris smither

when fallen angels fly billy joe shaver

ella mae peta, zoe + constie brown

cry night after night stacey earle + mark stuart

tie it in a knot ron davies

next to you tim easton

beautiful night josh ritter

louis collins jerry garcia + david grisman

i am the light of the world kelly joe phelps

sweet loving man jolie holland

to be still alela diane

natural disaster andrew bird

hurtin' you ben kweller

cast away the clouds rose melberg

mixed blessings sarah lee guthrie + johnny irion

it's true

let it be noted here, that i grew this strawberry, first one of the summer. 

and then picked it, and promptly enjoyed it. 

just so you know.

the wish tree: part one

for several years now, i've had it in my mind's eye to do a wish tree. i think it was the guerilla art kit book by the inspiring keri smith that gave me the idea, and i've never wavered from my want to do it since. i also always knew i wanted my sweet friend faith to be my co-conspirator wish tree facilitator, but the time needed to be just right. the best way i can put words to that, is that i wanted to be very present for it, with all of my heart. and with all my wishing and dreaming as of late, the time was clearly now. 

so we headed off to a park we thought suitable for wishing, with our hot drinks in hand (yep, hot drinks, and yep, that is a wool wrap faith is wearing) and found what we thought to be the perfect tree, a bit off the designated path. we then got to the task of preparing such a tree, which doesn't take much of course, because the magic is all up to those bold enough to give voice to their wishes. 

we each made a few of our own wishes too of course

and then spent lots of time watching them spin and flit in the breeze.

the tree already felt magical, 

as we chatted and giggled while attaching the pocket full of blank tags to the trunk of this magic tree for others to declare their wishes on

and we pondered

and wished some more

as we stood under the branches that were like an umbrella, and felt as if the tree was hugging us. 

it was a perfect, perfect day. 

the shift

 

if you want to truly understand something, try to change it. ~ kurt lewin

"we often think of art as an escape; a release. we feel free to express ourselves in ways which feel freeing and gratifying. but sometimes, over time and without thinking, we entrap ourselves in our own style. we become comfortable and dependent upon certain techniques or methods or styles. eventually, before we can even recognize that it has happened our ways of creating become so habitual that we lose just a bit of our pure and free creative spirit." ~ from creativity boot camp, day 6

creative word prompt: fluid: changing readily; shifting; not fixed, stable, or rigid.

my creative mojo has been stagnant lately - a real true blue creative limbo. i WANT to be trying new things, expanding on how i use my camera, explore new mediums, but my soul is having a hard time figuring out just how to express what it wants to say. my camera and i are in discord these days it seems - it pulls me one way, i want it to go another. now i know logically, that it probably has more to do with not using my camera often over the last many months, and my lack of knowledge, but particularly, this latest little insidious bug that has crept into my psyche; over-thinking what makes a good photo. it's as if i have taken a step back from the more free-wielding passionate way of expression, and i seem to have allowed this little analytical critter inside to come make itself comfortable on my couch. how does this start? where does it come from? is it lack of inspiration? lack of confidence? a fear of being judged?  i'm finding lately that when i step out with my camera, i've been defaulting to what feels safe. "oh, i can probably pull that off.....". it's not that i WANT to play it safe, it's just that i've been feeling........stuck.

well this sneaky little boot camp seems to have invited itself to start jumping on my couch, and is consequently clearing the room. 

and thank goodness. that little vermin has long been overstaying it's welcome. 

*     *     *

this day's assignment was to create something different than what we are used to, to break the rules we have set for ourselves. so i applied slow exposures, the tripod and shooting at night - all things i have limited familiarity and comfort with - while chasing after what fluid means to me. 

staring down my buzz kills

 

really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great. ~ mark twain

"a classic creative buzz kill is thinking that you just don’t have the talent that other people have. but the truth is that most people are born with a drive that they work on and perfect which then becomes a talent......everyone starts somewhere, and for most of us, it’s at the bottom." ~ from creativity boot camp, day 3

creative word prompt: mulitlayered

on tuesday after work, i went out to battle point park on bainbridge island to get a shot of this water tower, and the other two shots were taken in the morning with that outing in mind. 3 shots taken on day 3, then layered on top of each other exactly as shot.

this prompts me to want to do more with double and triple exposures on film - i love the element of mystery that comes with it. yes, i do believe these assignments are stirring things up in me  :)

*     *     *

i am an artist

 

i don't believe in art. I believe in artists. ~ marcel duchamp

"you are here. you have a yearning to create. you wish to produce work which reflects life the way you see it. you are indeed an artist. it has nothing to do with what medium you work in. it has nothing to do with whether or not you have achieved someone’s vision of success. it has to do with what is in your soul." ~ from creative boot camp, day 2.

creative word prompt: picnic

*     *     *

a letter to myself

 

i am all about the dreams these days. 

the wishing and the dreaming.

wishing and dreaming dreams i didn't know i had. well, perhaps on some level i knew they were there, but they were just that - dreams. crazy dreams.

and i'm finding that when one begins really exposing their dreams to light, all sorts of self-imposed closed-tight doors can start to open. or so this is the message i am being nurtured with lately at every turn, and i'm starting to believe it. like, realllly believe it. peek at what's behind those doors by even just a crack, and they'll start busting themselves wide open. no, no big doors have come down around me quite yet, but i find myself moving through each day now as if they have. i sure have been doing a lot of eager spying as to what's on the other side of them a lot lately, and i do believe the universe is doing some rearranging and conspiring on my behalf at this very moment. 

and with all this fervent curiosity seems to come a more open spirit; a spirit willing to express creatively, to set new intentions, and to courageously break through some uncomfortable barriers. so, as part of the wishing, the dreaming, the lessons, the energy work, the no holds barred sharing with friends, i am saying yes to possibility by also encouraging my creative spirit.

sunday commenced the first ever day of creativity boot camp, a two-week course created by madeline bea to do just that - to deepen and enrich one's own creative flight.  by the first day i was already feeling stymied by those sometimes louder inner voices that try to encourage me to back out of something that dares me to see a side of myself i don't think i'm ready for. but as faith would have it, she inspired me - by her words and own enthusiastic embrace of possibility - to pick myself back up quickly and get on with it. 

each day in the camp provides a thought, a journal prompt, and a creativity word prompt. i won't be posting all the assignments, but will lay down an occasional one here over the next couple of weeks. photography is my chosen medium for this two week adventure. day one (which i promptly caught up with on day 2) was to write a letter to oneself in the future on the other side of this camp journey, assuming that all the hopeful wishes coming into this course were met, as well as celebrating the accomplishment of meeting all the creative challenges. i find putting my fragmented thoughts and intentions to paper to be the hardest part, so i know this is an important exercise for me. then, the creativity prompt for this first day was ivory, so i've combined the letter-writing and those ivory-colored pages of my moleskine journal into my photo for the first assignment. 

by the way, it's only day 3 you know - won't you consider joining me? 

you can't wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club.  - jack london

*     *     *

you come, call on me

he paused at the short crosswalk diagonally from my storefront, taking a relaxed survey of the street and the shops laid out in front of him. i perked up from behind the shop counter, as it isn't often that we get someone on front street that could easily be mistaken for a member of a famous rock band. hmmm....what was this man's story, what was he doing here, in poulsbo? i was already fully invested as he lay his satchel down on the counter in front of me.

  

i struggle when i think how i might tell my little story effectively, as there is no great crescendo to the tale, nor a punch line, a magic ending, or some grand lesson learned. no, just a fleeting moment eight years ago that stays with me, and an opportunity to bring attention to an artist of revered talent. perhaps it's most poignant to me because of my love for music, or my innate appreciation of a connection shared briefly with a stranger, of two paths crossed. 

"i'd like to have a custom stamp made, can you do that here?"  yes, we can. and yes, we have an ink that can be used on a compact disc surface, and yes, i can have the stamp mailed to your place, in nashville. his kind, interesting and gentle demeanor allowed me the comfort to delve a little further. he shared that he used to live in this part of the state when he was young - port orchard i think he said - and makes a visit out this way every once in awhile. he reminisced about assorted old landmarks, and great memories of a unique local theater. i sensed the presence of a true and humble artist, one that is sustained by his love of poetry and song. i knew no more than the stories he shared by my prompting, but i clearly got a great sense about him, and i was moved by it all. 

 

our visit ended with an exchange - ink and a stamp traded for two discs of his music. after he left, i was tickled to discover that his tunes so aligned with my own john prine-like musical sensibilites. i became an instant fan of his talents, and kept his discs on a regular rotation of favorites. sadly, just as i had planned to write him for another disc not even a year later, i learned of ron davies' passing.

i have since discovered a lot more about him, and that his songs have been recorded by many well recognized names in the music world. i imagine him to have been a very special soul to have me still longing for more from someone i had met for only 20 minutes. how beautiful to possess such talent to leave precious gifts of music and song for those people one leaves behind.

listen:

 you come, call on me

 tie it in a knot

 you should see the moon tonite

*     *     *

it really is.

 

love is a beautiful thing.

and when in doubt, watch again. and again. 

sigh.
 

love love darlene love

 

there are really only two christmas traditions that are a total and absolute must for me each year. one is listening to the vienna boys choir on christmas eve, and the other is watching darlene love perform on the late show with david letterman. for at least 20-25 years now i've watched darlene love sing christmas (baby, please come home) on dave's show just days before christmas. and when i tell you that she makes me smile so huge it makes my face hurt, that i absolutely can't watch her while sitting down, that she forms rivers of tears down my cheeks each and every single time, i am not exaggerating. i wouldn't lie to you. there is nothing that can move me quite like this amazing woman, singing this tune, with her camaraderie of musicians and singers. oh, it's such a dream of mine to be in that audience someday. but meanwhile, i'll be standing in front of a tv somewhere late wednesday evening, getting all crazy and goose-bumpy like. i highly recommend you do the same. happy holidays and merry christmas friends!  

hi

 the christmas house - bainbridge island

hi. me here. seems the holidays just snuck right up on me, as is usually the case in the wholesale/retail environs. lots of time and energy have been put into the business side of things but i have yet to start crafting the cards, making the gifts, and generally get into the holiday spirit. i do know however, if i'm not feelin' it yet, i always do once i participate in some kind of contributing way to those that aren't able to celebrate in the same even modest way that i can. there's nothing quite like thinking about the homeless, jobless, sick and parent-less that gets me grounded and aligned with the spirit of the season.
 christmas aprons

i'm always pretty clear by this time each year what my holiday mission is, but i find myself today still undecided. looking at some local county resource bulletins might make for a good start. i'm always fond of getting presents for children, but i tend to over-think them. (what if i give gift cards to target, can someone take them there, do they have transportation? what if i have the wrong size jacket, or color shirt? and i've been known to look for just the right books for hours.)  i'd love to hear any thoughts or ideas you have, or about what you might be doing. what is tradition for you, or what is close to your heart when reaching out during the holidays? hope you are all finding your own peaceful strides as chanukah and christmas grow nearer.

64 reasons to embrace friends and crayons

l: dani • r: jodi :: week one - robin's egg blue

 one box of crayons + 2 passionate photographer friends = the 64 colors project

taking chances

have you ever dog-earred a page of a book to a passage that knocked your socks off, only to see it later and wonder what the big deal was? or, you do remember why it was a big deal and are relieved you don't have to go "there" again? every once in a while i'll come across some written words i've saved, and find them later to not have the same brevity they once did, which carries a certain satisfaction. it makes me feel like i've successfully "graduated" from something difficult that i can now look back on, even though i've become wise enough to know one tough lesson always gets quickly replaced by another. 

but there's a passage that paulo coelho once wrote in his book by the river piedra i sat down and wept, that always turns out to be a necessary read for me each time i open the book to that well-worn page. i suppose it continues to make an impact on me because the message aligns with a hardwired storyline i've created for myself for as long as i can remember. a story where it's always the other person that writes the book (i can't write), or becomes the dancer (i'm not good enough) or takes a year to sail around the world (whoa....way too scared.) so i find it necessary to come back to that passage, to remind myself that there are always fortunes within me, and waiting for me if i am so bold as to reach for them. 

in the most recent handful of years i've occasionally stepped outside of the comfort zone, the zone from which i previously only chose the things that were "safe", that i knew i wouldn't fail at, to test the "i wonder if i could...." waters. some attempts were quite the failures, and some were actually successes, but either way i knew i felt like i was truly living by allowing myself to come down on either side. and for me, all that scary letting go, so far, has not failed to leave me feeling rich. trusting the process is hard, but holding on tightly to safe is much, much harder.

a little less of this, a little more of that

 

did i really just post 30 straight days in a row? why yes, i believe i did. and although i may have on several occasions pushed through with some energy i didn't really have, nablopomo proved to be a great exercise for me. it got me feeling a bit hooked up again, stimulated my creative dormancy, and helped steer me away from isolation which has become all too easy as of late. so although i may not be posting daily after today, i can't wait to be a regular participant again in this here blogosphere. i know i'll have several things i'll be wanting to share that are coming up. no question i'll have to let you know every time i knock another something off the list, or will be excited to announce when our new walk with me blog comes into being, or tell you about another collaboration i'm excited about that's taking flight just this next week. somehow, by committing to this nablopomo thing, i also have a new interest in some older stagnant projects, like wanting to further expand on a line of cards i began a year ago, and get back into the 100 strangers project i started photographing nearly two years ago. there are a couple of e-courses i've had my eye on for some time, and am getting closer to feeling that the time is right for them. lately i've been quite mentally consumed with wanting to paint and delve into mixed media, along with an insatiable need to hold pastels. 

these are good feelings to have, and i do believe much has been re-ignited by showing up each day to post here - having to pause and think about what kinds of creative things my heart wants to be doing - fueled greatly by you rooting me along with your fun and kind comments. thank you friends. and thank you for the help in reconnecting. it feels incredibly rewarding.

grateful today for: nablopomo, new starts, lists, embracing new rhythms, encouraging friends

d's r

 

grateful today for: him

with a little accompanying ditty

day 28

truth is, these thanksgiving-festivities-slash-holiday-retail-hours shenanigans are kicking my arse a bit. the repercussions? a brain much like a doorknob. i actually convinced myself this evening that it would be ok to throw in the towel on this nablopomo deal just 3 days shy of pulling it off. 

but then i saw this. and well, now i feel like i'm in it for the team, and there's no way i'm letting down the team, mm..mmmm. not after those kind words. so i pulled on the boot straps, and here is the conversation that followed:

d: ricky, i have to do a post, but i got nothing. i'm blank. i can't think of anything to write. 

r: well, you could write about how i totally messed up the dinner i tried to put together for you tonight. 

d: 

r: or you could write about the shoplifter in your store today.

d:

r: or you could write about how my crazy latin mother came into town to torture us for thanksgiving.

d: 

r: or you could write about how jasmine got into the raisins today and we came home to dog vomit.

d:

r: see, it practically writes itself!

d:

r: dani?

d:

.....

yep. this is good stuff. luckily, you're all on holiday weekend and likely to miss this altogether. 

grateful today for: "r"ice cream, faithy, sundays, lyrics that get stuck in my head and make me smile each time i sing them

"who wears boots and a suit of red......"

who has a beard that's long and white?

 

ok. bring it.

yes, that really is bob. read more about how he's feeding america here.

grateful today for: this new christmas album.....bless you bob. 

wishing you

 

 ...a peaceful thanksgiving day. thinking of my friends today, and especially those of you who are missing someone at your table. xo.

embracing change

 

matthew fox once wrote, "the only hope mother earth has for survival is our recovering creativity - which is of course, our divine power. creativity is so satisfying, so important, not because it produces something but because the process is cosmological. there's joy and delight in giving birth." 

grateful today for: creative expression, trying something different, embracing change creatively, the beauty of swiss chard

fine dining

i haven't had any vegetables in three days. THREE DAYS. this seems quite impossible (and embarrassing really) after having had something very green or red or purple with every meal (except brekkie) for the last 5+ months. our weekly csa shares plus my own humble garden rendered us with a bounty of veggies at all times, which were staged in every crevice of the refrigerator and nook in the kitchen. 

it was exciting being part of a csa all those months - it made every sunday fun to wake up to. my favorite thing about belonging to one, is never knowing what the harvest would provide from week to week, and how that expanded my cooking repertoire. i have a couple of great books on farm fresh produce that i consulted each sunday as i washed and prepared the delectables for the upcoming week. 

we are somewhat limited to the variety of produce here in the pacific northwest, but our farmers kept us wholly delighted with their keenness for growing heirloom varieties, which gave us some colorful (and muy flavorful) alternatives to what we've been used to. and can i tell you how fun it is to prepare meals with yellow tomatoes or purple potatoes? this would give me such glee - so much so that i always spent more time photographing the resulting dishes than eating them. 

which now has turned out to be a very good thing. what else would i have written about on day 24 of nablopomo?

grateful today for: farmers, organic produce, and my own little garden which i just put to bed for the winter

becoming leonard cohen - part two

 sketch or document things that you use in your daily routine
inspired by keri smith's book "how to be an explorer of the world" :

 

 

cutting board, tea, jasmine's leash, field notes, keys, shower head, sugar bus, boots, sage, music, my fairy hat.

i stuck with yesterday's plan, vowing to take note of basic things i use every day, even tried to romanticize them a little. in the end, i realized how many seemingly small things comprise the workings of my day. i highly recommend the exercise - it shifted my awareness in an unexpected way. how i do appreciate that keri smith for always helping me see the familiar in a different light.

today i am grateful for: all of the above, and the explorer in me

becoming leonard cohen

i have always loved things. just things in the world. i love trying to find the shape of things. - leonard cohen.

part one:

today i'm in need of employing my ability to see things. stop, be still. to seek recognition in the little things. what i identify as my own grounding exercise. so to kick-start my oh-so-blank mind today, i vow to be an explorer of the world, and to do whatever my hero, author keri smith, tells me to do via her awesome book. the first page i open the book to will be meant for me, today. because i believe in that kind of .....oh, destiny. so page 81 it is: 

exploration #26 - sketch or document things that you use in your daily routine. 

my first response?  "but my daily routine is so ..... uninteresting. and really, exploration #24 would be way more "arty", and look at #27......" 

but oh yes, destiny, blah blah blah. ok, attention, i'm all yours. let's go.

grateful today for: keri smith and all the grooviness she is, an unfettered day for exploration, wind

faith + daniel

this last summer my lovely friend faith asked me to photograph her wedding. what? i've never photographed a wedding before, not even as a second shooter. no experience. none. i repeatedly tried to convince her that she didn't want me to do this, that this was her wedding for goodness sake, but she dug her red heels in. needless to say, i got seriously wigged out on the day of the wedding.

but all that nervous-making was for naught. faith and daniel couldn't be more easy going, more appreciative, more patient or more kind. and their wonderful ceremony reflected their insouciant spirits. it was a day full of sunshine and green grasses and picnic fare and love with family and dear friends. 

 

and faith couldn't have been easier to photograph....my goodness she was stunning. every photo i took radiated her beauty and happiness and sweet contentment. 

 

 

here is "the" first kiss. whew....got it!
 

 

 
 these two were up for anything, bless their big squishy hearts.
 

oh faith and daniel, thank you so much for the honor to photograph this awesome day. it truly meant the world to me. and hey, now that i'm over the whole nervous thing, can we do it again? 

today i am grateful for: faith, and faith

weekend sigh

it's friday night (and oh my, did you see that beauty of a moon?) and it feels good knowing i have the next two days off. i'm in tune to a subtle shift in the velocity of my breath, and i suspect the shoulders have already come down a good inch. and just knowing that there aren't a lot of plans on the weekend roster also does the psyche good. there will be a minimal amount of time feeling obligated, and much more time letting things just be.  i'm even thinking maybe, just maybe, i can spend some time in my big cushy orange chair and delve into the increasing stack of books vying for my attention on the night stand. yes, just look at all those lovelies. hmmmm, which ones would you choose? 

good night and long sweet dreams.

today, today, today. bless us...
and help us to grow.
~ from the rosh hashanah liturgy

today i am grateful for: when the moon is a magical tilted crescent, caroline myss, books that illuminate, furry ones too, and internet in the home. 

day 19

sugar bus love

due to unforeseen circumstances, i am sitting in a parking lot of the washington state ferries, “borrowing” their wi-fi since our signal to the internets at home is down. it is not a reasonable hour for me to be here, nor is it warm (read: brrrrrrr), and probably not very safe either. but i’m a stubborn chica, and there is no way i’m going to let this nablopomo business get the best of me. no sirree. i am here, and i am doing a post, albeit not much of one because i have about 7 minutes of  life on this old and weary macbook battery. so, this would appear to be a perfect time for me to say thank you thank you for visiting me here in this space, for hanging in there with me and not leaving me out to dry, and for being generous with such lovely words and thoughts in the comments. i really mean it. the meditation of this exercise has been a very good thing for me, and knowing you are there sure makes it more fun. truly, thank you.

ok, carry on.

grateful today for: you

every day

...in every way i'm getting better and better and better.

grateful today for:  a path to healing

the morning update

 morning contemplation

every morning, by the time i wake up, there is usually an email waiting for me with an update of the early shenanigans that take place here in the house while i am still sawing logs. we've sort of lost control of our animal kingdom as of late it seems. i'm pretty sure there's lots of pet laughter that ensues once ricky walks out that front door for work. for example, i give you today's weary update:

hi dani - 6am is WAY too early for dealing with this crew. owen is being extremely true to finicky feline form by snubbing her special new kidney food - how is it possible for her to give me such a look of contempt when i give her a nice portion, all smooshed up into nice little bite-sized pieces, and warmed....did i forget the garnish? billy the kid, of course, swooped in on his regular food, took 2 or 3 bites, then sauntered over to owen's side of the counter, and while owen was giving me "the look" he gives her a shove and starts in on her breakfast. that gave owen the chance to run over and start munching away on billy's regular food which she is not supposed to have. all this going on while i was trying to get jasmine's breakfast together....i had just finished creating the last of the perfect meatballs to hide jasmine's arsenal of pills in, when i caught the cat breakfast switcharoo - the quickest solution was to just switch bowls over switching cats. (these two are SO wearing their santa hats again this year.) this did not sit well with jasmine since she had been waiting on her breakfast, who barked repeatedly in protest. ok. done. with jasmine now all set, i remembered that owen needed her pill - she was still giving me the "i am not happy with the breakfast AND i am still hungry" look so i thought this should be easy....i hid the pill in the little salmon pill pocket (who could think up such a genius thing?) and placed it on top of a fresh little bite of her special food - no go. she gave it a sniff, then the snub - arrrrgh! it's a salmon pill pocket owen!! how could you NOT like salmon? hmmmm....she likes billy's food, yeah? yeah man! so i tried to spread some of billy's food like gravy on turkey....
does she like it?
noooooo......have i mentioned i had not had a chance to make coffee yet?
then i remember the irresistible bonito flakes....it's bacon for kitties (who can resist bacon?) so the pill is now wrapped in a salmon pill pocket, smeared with a cat food gravy AND wrapped in bonito flakes....i've made a kittly breakfast benedict - does she go for it???
a little sniff....
a little taste....
SHE LIKES IT!!
at this point i notice jasmine working on something......somehow she's managed to grab a spice jar off the counter and get the lid off and stick in her tongue as far as she could while i was making the owen masterpiece breakfast. how does a dog get the lid off of a seasoning bottle? last i checked you and i are the only ones with opposable thumbs in the house. what is going on here?
after everyone's been fed, watered, peed and medicated i finally have a chance to pour myself some juice and try to start some coffee - of course that is the perfect time for billy the kid to want a "horsey" ride on my shoulders. can i come back to bed now? 
and that is your morning update. 
ricky

and you know what? i'm pretty sure they do this because they know he'll do anything for them. the same way i know it too. did someone say bacon? 

grateful today for: each and every one of them

at blackwater pond

at blackwater pond the tossed waters have settled

after a night of rain.

i dip my cupped hands. i drink

a long time. it tastes

like stone, leaves, fire. it falls cold

into my body, waking the bones. i hear them

deep inside me, whispering

oh what is that beautiful thing

that just happened?

-mary oliver

grateful today for: words by mary oliver that articulate what i never can

can i have another sunday please?

it's been a sleeping-in-on-finally-a-day-off-french-toast-and-apple-compote-breakfast-eating-big-pot-o-soup-making-airing-out-driving-with-an-open-sunroof-and-jasmine-in-the-rain kind of a day and i would like it to not go by so fast, please. the body wants to rest but the soul wants to cook, breathe, create, connect. which in itself is really a very good thing. 

bits of sunday randomness: 

a hand cancelled envelope i got at a zurich post office 1997

i have no idea why this guy from my youth keeps popping into my head. there's no explanation for it. none. and i can't shake him. a sudden emersion of childhood memories maybe? i had lots of his comic books, and i recall coloring in those pants with red a million times. last night i searched for and found the above envelope i had saved from a trip 12 years ago. how i did love you globi.

love this project, will never forget this essay, and hope to submit my own some day. 

best laugh today was finding billy the kid sliding all the way down the bannister, backwards. he is a cat, so he will never admit that this really happened.

inspired by the creative energy of this : abstract forms of deconstructed and reassembled warning and prohibited signage as new street aesthetics.

and leaving you with a sunday evening moment of musical and video zen from a man that utterly enchants me. 

grateful today for: art, good food, music, writing, believing, and when a sunday is a sunday

gratitude in rubber

every year, on the second saturday in november, rubber soul has its holiday open house. and every year, sixteen of them now, there is a flurry of action leading up to the big day. the preceding week is all about the fluffing and stuffing. new products arrive, new sample cards are made, treat trays are ordered, decorations and fresh lights are hung, and i always make sure i have a hefty number of new candles to burn.

and every year on this day, i am invigorated by it all. i love the connecting with happy people eager to create their holiday cards. i love the familial feeling i have with our longtime loyal customers. i love the sense of community with this family even though several come from many miles away. i am full of gratitude for every customer that chooses to visit us, and chooses to share their creative as well as personal stories with us. i am grateful that i have a job i feel passion for, that has always provided for me, that keeps my soul and body and mind nourished. 

i am grateful, oh so grateful, for all of these gifts. and i can think of no better way to end the day than to be this wholly in gratitude. sweet dreams.

caution

but "i'm not dead yet." :)

grateful today for: gimmicky fun under the wire

acquiesce

some very long work days this week have caught up with me and i find myself wordless, and additionally wondering how i ever thought i could manage this nablopomo business. so i thought i would turn it over to one of my most dog-eared/loved books for help, and let tomorrow's meditation be exactly what i need it to be. and as is usually the case when you give such things up to the universe, it really is.

as i travel through my life,

times of joy and times of strife,

i pray now to realize,

the whole within - energize

my spirit self to align

with universal all divine.

- beverly shapiro

from the book "prayers for healing: 365 blessings, poems and meditations from around the world" 

grateful today for:  accepting my limitations, learning how to center myself, connecting with the divine

happenstance

recently we went to fort ward on bainbridge island for a little airing out in the sunshine, and we sat down on a bench tucked away off the beaten path. and it was then that we stumbled across our first exposure to the world of letterboxing. inside a little square tupperware container, tucked almost out of sight, was a small notepad, along with a pen, an ink pad, and a stamp. 

there were rubber stamps stamped on pages

and words of happenstance

a riddle

words of love

and words of gratitude

and then of course

we had to leave our own mark

i've never letterboxed before, but i can see the appeal. it's like a treasure hunt, with maps and clues and navigating skills in the great outdoors, which sounds just as satisfying to me now as a big kid than that younger one i was that did scavenger hunts at slumber parties. you can find a world of information on it all here. and now that i've tasted the thrill upon finding other people's declarations/stamped art, i'm not sure i can turn my back on it. nope. i've always loved me a good treasure.

grateful today for: unexpected happy-making discoveries 

walk with us

 

photo by kristin zecchinelli

recently my dear friend kristin in maine made me the most beautiful gift. it didn't have a ribbon, wasn't wrapped, and not even in a package, yet this grand gift brought me to sweet weepy tears. she gave me a walk. oh yes, a walk. she took me on a mini journey in her neighborhood. through the lens of her camera and her soulful spirit we walked together, even though i wasn't physically there. we looked up at trees, we studied the details of the ground, we went to a diner, we had a great day. and i get to take this walk as many times as i need to to soothe me like only walks can. 

of course the only proper way to show her how moved and grateful i was to receive this mondo cool gift, would be to take HER on a walk here in the pacific northwest. and it's a fact that i'm already crazy about the great outdoors and taking walks and exploring, but knowing i was going to be walking with kristin made it an event that i couldn't wait to get underway! i was truly excited to get out on that walk and share it with her.

then something wonderful happened. we both felt the power of these gestures, how good it made us feel, and how it combined everything we love to do. it was an organic blossoming from our passions, an unfolding of ideas. what if we shared walks with other people? yes. and started a site, where these walkers and their walks could be featured? yes. and continued to share our own walks too? yes yes!

and so a collaboration was born. and word spread quickly - so quickly in fact that a group was created today for zealous walkers to stage their walks until the new site was ready. imagine being able to enjoy a walk in a sunny place when one's spirit is sinking, or satisfying a craving for a big city adventure - what possibilities.

"if you are walking to seek, ye shall find." - sommeil liberosensa

oh yes, this is going to be a very very good thing.

grateful today for: collaborating, creating, and connecting through art

where the wild things are

i'm pretty careful with my pennies these days, but every once in a while something comes along which taunts me to the point that i convince myself my life would not be a good one without it. so i clicked on the add-to-cart button over at mcsweeney's, and upon it's release, the wild things fur-covered edition was mine. hee hee. a tad embarrassing really, how i carried it all around the house with me on that first day. and as if books weren't already one of the finest gifts one could give oneself......a fuzzy and funny and dark tale? by dave eggers?!!   i should have bought two.

you are likely already familiar with some of the coolness that is dave eggers - maybe his lauded memoir a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, or his significant literary work what is the what: the autobiography of valentino achak deng, or his unique monthly magazine, or that he was one of three TED prize recipients in 2008 and what he did with his wish, or that he co-wrote the screenplay for away we go.

but what i love him for the most is the 826 valencia project that he co-founded, a non-profit group that fundamentally supports young students with their basic and creative writing skills. it's also so much more than just the tutoring, which if you're interested in learning more about you can watch the video below - i promise that it's well worth the time.

did you watch it? isn't it all so inspiring? hmmmm....i wonder if they would consider tutoring me. i can look pretty young in my braids, and truth be told, i'm all out of space travel supplies. 

grateful today for: dave eggers, volunteers, people who make a difference

mr. wainwright

there are few musicians that provoke the kind of intense visceral response in me the way rufus wainwright does. at the risk of sounding all squishy, he vibrates my soul somehow. i weep when he holds his voice in a certain pitch, and weep again with his beautiful piano chord transitions. he is steeped in crazy-good talent. i've been revering this man since his first album eleven years ago, and my gut continues to flex when i hear him perform anything - new or old. that said, i guess i'm in for quite an emotional workout tonight :)  benaroya hall, seattle 7:30.

grateful today for: rufus wainwright, music that makes me feel alive, and being up to going to my first concert in over a year.

want more? 

a mixed jam

every year for as long as i can remember i have made the majority of my holiday gifts. i've always enjoyed this way of giving - it feels much more natural, comfortable and rewarding for me. last year was uber fun as several of the components we made comprised a theme - we had ourselves a mixed jam. 

we spent many of our weekend days that summer hand picking fruit - blueberries, loganberries, raspberries and strawberries - then stockpiling all the just-picked berries in the freezer. it was stuffed tight, that freezer. i was determined to make jam for the first time that fall - something i've always wanted to learn, and which also happened to be on the list. once properly trained by the lovely and generous donna paulson, we were off and destroying the kitchen, and developing scrummy fruit combinations along the way.

 

then there was lots of tie-dying to be done. lots. we tie-dyed tea towels, and no two were the same. each one was like a fresh new palette to go crazy on. every rubber band, pot, pan, pushpin and clothespin were employed, and towels were hung on makeshift lines all around the house to dry.

but you know, we couldn't stop at the grooviness of the colors and patterns alone.  they still needed a bit more rock and roll, so we used some of our favorite stencils from the awesome ed roth book, stencil 101. 

after all the washing, more drying, stenciling, then ironing, we moved on to the final touch of the package, and a "mixed tape" was born (well you know, on disc.) hence, all the pieces for a box of mixed jam.

this year will be much more low key, but some kind of something will get created here, and that's the goal here this weekend, to figure out what that will be. schemes and plots will be hatched, and in turn more production havoc will be wreaked in this house, and we will love every messy minute of it.

grateful today for: friends to make stuff for, a home to create in, tie-dye, and a two-year supply of jams

sazzybirthdaypants

today is our dear and funny and silly and kind and compassionate and generous and uber thoughtful friend sazzy's birthday.

 

happy birthday sazzy! we sure do love your bad-ass self! 

xoxo

grateful today for: her :)

happiness is

....a smile in the pacific northwest on monday

that arrives in maine on wednesday.

west coast to east coast.

pure happiness indeed!

grateful today for:  quick snail mail, smiley faces, kristin and her sun flares

the people's car

i've been having a sporadic love affair with volkswagen my whole life, and didn't fully realize it until recently. let me back up a little. my first camping trip ever was when i was just a wee thing, and it was to the sierras in a volkswagen camper. i know i don't need to explain how this sort of spoiled it for me for any camping trips that would then follow. 

 

^{rad bus spotted at a campsite this summer}

when i was 16 i learned how to drive a manual transmission in a vw bug. not just any vw bug, and not because i needed to learn it at the time, but because it was ricky that wanted to teach me, and ricky was all about the fun. 

 

^{ricky and said bug}

since then volkswagens for me have just been one of those head-turning happy-making sights on the road, and vw buses have remained a sort of fantasy. you know the kind.....where it's always someone else's bus, someone else's little dream come true. 

 

^{sugar at sunrise farms}

until now. i won't even try to articulate the whole soul-searching depths i went into that brought a little sugar into our lives this summer, but she sure embodies some full circle kind of magic for us. 

 

^{sugar at the grand forest}

and let me tell you, when life has you rushing around, and feeling disconnected and scattered, there is nothing quite like a ride in a 1969 vw bus to slow one down and get oneself re-grouped in. nope, it really leaves one no choice but to do just that. 

grateful today for: fahrvergnügen

one two three four five blissful pola days

a euphoric feeling has taken complete hold of me this week, and there's one very clear reason for it: it's 'roid week over on flickr. five straight days of celebrating instant film. five days of being totally distracted from work and woes, and that's a good thing. 

 

i can't articulate with words the joy of hearing the voot-voooot sound once i press the button on a polaroid camera, or the witnessing of magic as mini art develops in my hands. 

 

i'm captivated by the fabulous photos that are being added fast and furious to the group pool. 

 

mmm hmmm, this is a very very good week.

grateful today for: polaroid, my sx-70 camera, and art communities that share and embrace

bench monday + love

i have found that you can ask just about anyone to stand on a bench for a photo, and they do. they just happily get right up there. no questions asked. and this becomes even more notable when the aforementioned is obliged by someone on their wedding day. 

 

these are my friends faith and daniel, who didn't even blink when i asked them politely - sometime in between the toast and the ceremonious cutting of the cake i think - to step a little to the left, now to the right, oh, and now kindly up on that bench please? 

but seriously, don't they look amazing? (more on these two lovelies later.)

grateful today for: love, free-spirited friends, kilts, and genius people that come up with genius photo groups that make certain days that much sweeter, especially mondays.

seeking clarity through nablopomo

i'm not quite sure what's come over me this morning - blame it on the full moon, ovulation, that one extra hour from daylight savings time end, or the first day of feeling lightness in a desperately long time, but i just decided right here, right now, to participate in nablopomo. bam! what better way to involve and stimulate my right brain into more creative thinking, and distract it from the other side steeped deep in worry these days. today i had actually planned to begin a 30 days of gratitude photo project -  i still plan to be in grace, but will instead just add my gratitude to each of the next 30 posts. see that?  i'm speaking just like i believe i'm going ahead with this. and let me tell you, this will be no easy feat for me people, as i have been quite mute in many a ways these days. so here's to attempting 30 consecutive days of engaging, creating, connecting. 

*runs off to start scribbling ideas in her notebook*

grateful for: those days that you wake up and everything feels like it's going to be ok. 

the melody of birds

perhaps these two are just in the planning stages, or comprising a very short tune, but you can go here to see what some other birds have been up to.

you say sunprints, i say zenprints

getting all zen and crafty over here.

sometimes

.....one just has to get out

into the sun

and into the wind

next to the sound of moving water

and find a place to sit

and

just 

breathe.